


Wish I Were Heather

by Veronicasawyerr



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Poor JD, Unrequited, VERY manipulative Jd, and so basically heather likes veronica, but he's also horrible in this, cause it's just TOO perfect, def not fluffy jdronica, he knows somethings off, inspired by the conan gray song 'Heather', jd and veronica are dating, more like true jdronica tbh, so not poor jd, their relationship is horribly toxic, veronica likes heather
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:09:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24850594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronicasawyerr/pseuds/Veronicasawyerr
Summary: She's got you mesmerizedWhile I die.Or: Where Jd kills Heather for a different reason.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 17
Kudos: 103





	Wish I Were Heather

_I still remember_

  
_Third of December_

  
_Me in your sweater_

  
_You said it looked better_

_On me, than it did you_

She was his from the moment they locked eyes in the cafeteria to their first shared slushy. He latched on, gripped her heart as if he would fall to his death. Without her, he would. She was his, only his, and that comforted Jd to no end. She was all he had.

And they were happy. They were happy until December. It was cold outside, he saw her shivering. She wore his trench coat all the way home, and he told her to keep it. Jd never let anyone touch the jacket, let alone wear it.

It looked better on her anyway.

_Only if you knew_

  
_How much I liked you_

He had a vague awareness that she didn't feel what he did. She said she loved him, but it was surface. She loved him as a high school sweetheart, as the bad boy who she would tell stories of to her future children. He loved her with all of him, every single part.

He looked at her and saw the stars. All the stars in the world were trapped in those warm brown eyes, that looked at him like he was God. He felt like God holding her.

His love for her was more than any person could imagine. He couldn't describe it, words didn't do justice. Words couldn't describe the shiver that went through his spine every time he gazed upon her, the icy emptiness every time she was gone.

Maybe it was an obsession, but he didn't mind. And he didn't mind that she didn't love him the same, he had enough love for both of them.

_But I watch your eyes, as she_

_Walks by_

  
_What a sight for_

  
_Sore eyes_

Heather Chandler.

Jd always assumed Veronica just admired the red queen, but her eyes told a different story. Yes, Heather Chandler was beautiful, but nothing compared to his Veronica. The red reminded him of anger, of domination. Jd represented that- and it scared him that someone so close to Veronica was so similar to him. Everyone drooled over the girl, but he never expected Veronica too.

And she didn't. The look in her eyes wasn't lust- it was worse. She looked at her best friend- or maybe more- with love, a love she never showed him. 

  
He needed to believe that she loved him most, considering they were dating, but he couldn't. Not when Heather Chandler stared at her the same way, as the best thing that had ever happened to Jd slipped right through his finger. Gone.

_Brighter than a_

  
_Blue sky_

  
_She's got you_

  
_Mesmerized_

  
_While I die_

He would talk to Veronica, and she would nod along. Her body faced him, her eyes towards the sky. She was thinking about someone- someone who wasn't him. She left a blue tint on his lips.

Blue was good for Veronica. Jd was red, she was blue. That was perfect. Until another red came. Until another red threatened to steal her away, like a bird attacking prey. What hurt most was that Veronica would probably go willingly, no objections as she left Jd alone, on his knees, blood on his hands. Blood from his mouth. Blood on her blazer.

Heather would take her, and it would kill him. He would die.

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

_  
I'm not even half, as pretty_

_  
You gave her your sweater_

_  
It's just polyester, but you like her better_

_  
Wish I were Heather_

He saw her at a 7-11, late December. She never used to go without him. He never forgot the red jacket wrapped around her, much too large, a hint of red lipstick on her lips. Veronica only wore gloss. 

He knew then that she loved her. She loved her with everything in her, much as he did with her.

Jealously boiled throughout the boy's body, and he selfishly wished he was the one to have won her affections. Veronica deserved more than a ruthless leader, who's candle would eventually flicker out and die. Veronica would never burn out.

Jd fou d himself wishing he was Heather.

_Watch as she stands with_

_  
Her holding your hand_

_  
Put your arm 'round her shoulder_

_  
Now I'm getting colder_

Veronica broke up with Jd in January. She said she liked him but was in love with someone else. He already knew.

Coffee stains littered his heart, a tear in the paper of his soul. Heather's arms were wrapped where his arms once had been, back when he had everything. Veronica was everything, and she was gone.

He couldn't 't stay away, so he didn't. He watched from underneath her window every night before she went to bed. Sometimes he climbed up and watched her chest rise and fall softly. He used to be in bed with her. Before Heather.

He didn't just watch her when she was alone. The went on walks in the park, and he followed behind trees. When she grabbed her hand, his eyesight blurred. A frozen death awaited him every time he fell from watching them kiss. His blood icy, he needed it all to end. He needed Heather gone.

_But how could I hate her?_

_  
She's such an angel_

_  
But then again, kinda_

_  
Wish she were dead,_

Heather had changed, with the help of his Veronica. She wasn't cruel, she was everything Veronica saw in her. It killed Jd slowly.

He wanted to hate her. But she made the edges of Veronica's mouth lift upwards, she extracted that laugh, that beautiful laugh that made angels sing. Veronica was happier than when she was with him. But he was falling apart, seeing it happen. If he got her back, she could be just as happy.

After all, they were both red.

He needed Heather to go, so Veronica would be back in his arms. Her wit, her smarts, her body, her smile. Not a night went by when he didn't sit by her window, and remember what they once were. Imagine what might have been.

_As she_

_Walks by_

  
_What a sight for_

  
_Sore eyes_

  
_Brighter than a_

  
_Blue sky_

  
_She's got you_

  
_Mesmerized_

So he eliminated the barrier. The wall that kept Veronica away from him, that kept her blind. Blue dripped from Heather's mouth. Blue, Veronica. That was the last of her she'd ever get to taste.

Veronica never seemed to stop crying. At least she cried in his arms. He wrapped his trench coat around her once more, and she was where she truly belonged. With him. She was born with many a purpose- one of them being to belong to him. And so she did. If he had to let someone did in the process, then that was fate. Guilt never kept him up.

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

  
_I'm not even half, as pretty_

  
_You gave her your sweater_

  
_It's just polyester, but you like her better_

  
_I wish I were Heather_

She told him she couldn't be with him. That Heather was her soulmate. That she would never love again.

  
Even dead, the queen in red ruined Jd's existence. Veronica was the only thing good in the world, yet she was being weighed down by the false memory of someone who was never meant to own her. Jd was meant to own her.

But shew still wanted Heather. Dead, gone Heather. What did she have that Jd didn't? He was everything she needed. Veronica lost her sight, ruby red in her glasses.

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

  
_I'm not even half as pretty_

  
_You gave her your sweater_

  
_It's just polyester, but you like her better_

  
_Wish I were_

But he never let go. And she didn't fight it. He felt her sobs as he held her through the night, and he ignored it all. She wasn't truly sad. She couldn't be, not when fate was in action. They were meant to be.

But as her smile faded, her light burnt out, a horrible feeling filled Jd.

He didn't only kill Heather that night, Veronica had followed.

He wished he was what she needed. Jd wished he were Heather.

_Wish I were Heather._


End file.
